Last time, Faithful died, Catherine became a woman, and we all learned that Deshaun Frenchfry is A) kind of a dick, and B) abnormally knowledgable on the occult. This time, romantic progress is made(finally) and a birthday happens.
The dollhouse is Bedivere’s favorite toy. He loves his family, but they’re pretty chaotic at the best of times, and there’s something calming about creating an idyllic Norman Rockwell-esque household, even if it is made-up. Besides, who says dolls are only for girls?
HEY IF YOU TWO COULD BREAK THE LIPLOCK FOR JUST A SECOND AND KICK EL’S ASS OUT OF THE KITCHEN THAT’D BE GREAT
El: How does the spinny sharp thing work?
Catherine: Plumbob, it’s crazy to think I’m actually graduating. Can you believe it Danger?
Danger: Yeah sure, whatever lady. You got any apples or is this whole conversation jus’ a waste of my time?
Catherine didn’t quite manage to be valedictorian, but she was voted Most Likely to Become a Rockstar. We’ll all try to hold back our incredulous laughter at that.
Catherine: What scares me most is I just don’t know what I’m going to do. Like, I could go into culinary work like dad, but it just doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, you know?
Ismael: Whatever happened to being a professional horseback rider? As I recall you’ve been set on that particular career path since day one.
Catherine: *sigh* Yeah, but…I guess I just feel like there’s something missing. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with Danger. But I keep feeling like…I don’t know, like I’ve forgotten something.
Ismael: And this sensation of forgetfulness is enough to turn you away from your life’s dream? Catherine, as long as I’ve known you, your sheer tenacity has always been your greatest strength. You braved years of bullying over your passion, and now you turn your back on it because of a moment’s doubt?
Catherine: You’re one to talk. I heard you applied for a job at the hospital.What happened to “revolutionizing the field of paranormal study?”
Ismael: …That’s different.
Catherine: Suuuure it is.
Ismael: There is…a certain stigma associated with paranormal research. I wouldn’t wish to bring that upon you or your family.
Catherine: Honey, it’s a little late for that. My mom’s the crazy woman who digs through people’s trash in her spare time, my dad’s an asshole chef with a bastard daughter, and my little brother’s fucking green!
Ismael: All the same. Your family may be eccentric, but your mother still has some care for social expectations.
Catherine: *laughs* Is that what this is about?! You want to make a good impression on your future mother-in-law? I’m eating a hot dog at a gourmet restaurant, I think my family is already used to weird.
Catherine: Oh. Um. Sorry, I guess I just kind of assumed-
Ismael: No, I – Catherine, there is no one in the world I would rather spend my life with than you.
Catherine: Oh thank plumbob, this would’ve been really awkward otherwise. I mean, I don’t want to get married straight out of high school, but I was kind of hoping you’d be interested in moving in with me?
Ismael: You really have to ask?
El: What’s this chuckle fuck doing here?
Ismael: Good morning to you too.
Catherine: El, Ismael’s moving in with us. You might want to be a bit more polite considering he’s going to be family.
El: Oh, damn. Nice one, squirt! I always knew you’d make an old maid outta me.
Ismael: Hardly. I may be joining your household, but we both agree it’s far too soon for marriage.
Catherine: You and Leo on the other hand…
El: Oh shut up.
El has actually been thinking about proposing for a while now, but the ring she bought has stayed firmly in her pocket.
A Love Day date in the park does put her in the mood for, as she would say, “that sappy shit.” Well. Carpe diem, or some shit.
El: Robot-Love-Doctor here says we wanna jump each other’s bones, so I guess this is as good a time as any.
Leo: Oh plumbob is this going where I think it’s going
Leo: IT IS!
He’s so excited his forehead’s glitching through his hair.
In true El style, she waits until Bedivere’s teen-birthday party to break the news to her parents.
El: I know this is gonna be a shock, what with me being the wild child and all, but I think I’m ready to settle down now.
Cheri: Ooh, Mr. G! Talk about a silver fox, woof!
Cheri, no! You’re married to Deshaun, you can’t just drool over his celebrity uncle when he’s not in the room.
Cheri: Watch me, bitch.
Brienne: Excellent, grandchildren ho!
El: No, mom, that’s still not on the agenda-
Brienne: Jared, love, come quickly! Our little one is ready to fly the nest and have some chicks of her own!
El and Jared keeping it classy.
Bedivere gets the angler trait, making him neat, cold-loving, disciplined, and an angler. Consequently his teen wardrobe makes him look like a real outdoorsy type.
Catherine might hate their cousin, but Bedivere is nothing if not naively hospitable, so he wastes no time in making a new friend.
Bedievere: Hey Deshaun, thanks for coming to the party. It’s always nice having another guy around, you know?
Deshaun: Indeed. My half-sister and I often wear on one another’s nerves.
Deshaun: But cousin, I wanted to ask you something; I have read on the internet forums I frequent that aliens develop certain powers around adolescence. Have you experienced any sudden bursts of knowledge or psychic abilities?
Bedivere: No…? Deshaun, what do you mean when you say “aliens?”
El: Ix-nay on the ace-spay it-shay lil cuz.
Deshaun: Why is your sister speaking gibberish? Anyway, as I was saying, my admittedly less-than reputable sources on extra-terrestrial life claim that you will lose the ability to sleep normally, instead gaining technokinesis and a direct psychic connection to fellow members of your species.
Bedivere: I’m an alien? I thought I was just an adopted mutant…
El: Deshaun, you were just on your way out, weren’t you?
Tell me what’s wrong with this picture.
First things first I GOT NOMINATED FOR A GOLDEN PLUMBOB HOLY SHIT????? I fell off the face of the internet for a while and that was quite possibly the nicest and most encouraging thing to come back to, thank you all so much! I’m still a little in shock over it, tbh, just. Wow!
El’s only a few levels shy of maxing out the writing skill, and then she’ll have completed her LTW to be an Illustrious Author. I’m laying out the groundwork for her to move on out of the house in advance, and as far as I’m concerned it can’t happen too soon. I love her inappropriateness, but the house has been kind of cramped and frankly I want to get going with gen 3.
It hasn’t been in the story because the Horsewoman career has very few picture-taking opportunities, but Catherine and Danger have begun steadily winning races, much to my surprise. I was kind of expecting them to suck at it forever, but no, progress is actually being made! #proudsimmom
Again, ’cause I really can’t say this enough, thank you all so much! My heart grows three sizes in my chest every time I see the view count go up, I’m just so glad there are people out there enjoying my goofy little story. You all rock!