2.10 Sand In Unmentionable Places

Last time, El got hitched and Catherine proposed. This time, another wedding, family gossip, and a sandy honeymoon.

Guess what today is.



Go on, guess.


Ismael: Hmm, it seems locating stars is difficult when the sun is out…

Bro. Priorities.


Did you guess yet? Yup, it’s the day of Catherine and Ismael’s wedding.

Fortunately today’s weather is much better than the last time a wedding was held, so Catherine gets to show off both her race track and her fancy wedding gown. Brienne didn’t need to fight her over suitable wedding attire: Catherine already had a customized dress all picked out and decorated in her favorite color(sea foam).

As the guests start arriving, I took the opportunity to check out what’s been happening in the family tree.


Here we see cousin Deshaun (Connor’s son with Molly French) and El’s childhood friend Cheri, Agnes Crumplebottom’s daughter with Xandel Clavell. They’ve been married for a while now, and have a teenage son named Raul. Raul was not at the party because no one in the house has ever met him.


El shows up, heavily pregnant, but who’s that teen behind her?? A quick dig through the family tree panel shows that she’s Connie’s daughter Laquita.¬†And she has a twin sister named Sylvia.

Laquita: Yeah, I kinda bullied Mom into letting me come along. She doesn’t really like this part of the family.


Jared isn’t sure how to interpret the news that his eldest daughter never contacted him about his granddaughters.


In retrospect, this does explain the number of “Boast about Grandchildren” wishes he’s been rolling up. He knew, even when he didn’t really know.


Here you’ll notice that Connor is sobbing over the death of Tori Kimura: His first wife Molly died a long time ago, and he remarried Leo’s mom. Which means that El married her uncle’s stepson.

Every legacy has at least one marriage to someone very closely related or already somehow a part of the family tree, but I think that might be an all-time earliest case of a marriage that’s uncomfortably close to incest. I mean, Generation 2? Jeez.


Ismael’s dad Ethan VanWatson-Bunch is there to sob his heart out, copying Jared’s style. Ismael’s mom Madison unfortunately got tied up with her work as an important military official, but Ethan’s retired from being a doctor and has no obligations to keep him from his son’s wedding.

Ethan: Why couldn’t my son have been a normal, medicine-loving genius like me? Instead he married into the local weirdo family and started working as a ghost hunter. Now I’m standing next to a green kid surrounded by the smell of manure! Where did I go wrong?!


Tiff: Can I pleeeeease maul one of these losers?


Tiff: Pretty please?



Dopy wedding face strikes again.

Catherine: Durrr


The bride and groom suck face, and everyone melts at the cute.


El: Ugh, is this the same cake from my wedding?

Catherine: Mm-hmm. If you hadn’t run off as soon as you tied the knot, maybe you would’ve gotten to eat it fresh.

Deshaun: Or, you could have thrown out the old one and gotten a fresh one.

Jared, wherever he is: I baked that damn cake, you ungrateful brats are gonna damn well eat it.

Catherine carefully avoids eye-contact with Deshaun. She remembers him ranting at her about unicorns as a teenager, which in light of recent events seems pretty suspicious. She makes a mental note to talk to him soon.


Umm. You two know this isn’t your bed, right?

You guys?


*sigh* And so, Catherine and Ismael’s wedding was celebrated in El’s bed.¬†Because they just couldn’t wait to go upstairs to their own. *headdesk*


For their honeymoon, they head out to beautiful Al Simhara, because golden sands are romantic or something. (Also because Catherine has had a mission there to hunt down some flame fruit since she was a teen.)



Catherine: What in plumbob’s name are you wearing.

Ismael: It’s adventuring gear, dear! If I join you in investigating ancient tombs, I really should dress the part, no?


Ismael: My, this is exciting!

Catherine: Just…don’t touch anything, all right? These places are always full of hidden traps, you’d probably end up fried.

Ismael: Of course! I wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise!


Ismael, immediately touching something: Ooh, I wonder if there’s a mummy in here?

I swear, the man has the self-preservation instincts of a lemming.


A blissfully unaware Catherine investigates the rest of the pyramid. She’s hunting down some special glowing fruit that MorcuCorp wants to use in some sort of propulsion drive.


Ismael isn’t sure how exactly that would work, but he’s fascinated with finding out.


Mission completed, they decide to spend the night in their tent, instead of going back to base camp, because it’s exciting or something.


Ismael: Ooh, what’s this?

Ah hell.



Ismael: Dum de dum, what’s this? Oh, another relic to add to the collection.



Ismael: Oh gosh this is SO COOL! I want to take a sample!

Like I said, the man’s a lemming.



Ismael: Oh my. On second thought, maybe I am filled with mortal terror.


Thankfully, the mummy seems only interested in a candy in Ismael’s pocket, which it promptly swipes.


Ismael: Well, that was irritatingly anticlimactic. If he had killed me it would’ve been one hell of a way to go out.

Just be glad I had the foresight to give you a mummy snack, 0 martial arts skill man.


To wrap up the honeymoon, I gave them a day to do whatever they want at base camp. In typical newlywed fashion, they want to spend all their time sighing and staring into one another’s eyes.


*rock-a-bye baby plays*

And…*clears throat*…some other things.


I swear, this family’s issues multiply every time I open the game. The revelation that Jared has unknowingly been a grandfather was both depressing and heartwarming. :’)

At least the wedding went as planned. No surprise elopement, no spontaneous fires, no constant miserable rain with shitty, shitty lighting… Really, what else can a Simmer hope for?

I realized as I was writing this chapter that the honeymoon portion was kind of focused on Ismael, which I didn’t intend. But, Catherine basically spent the whole time fulfilling adventuring wishes and doing missions, which everyone with WA has already played themselves, so I didn’t see the point in documenting it. *shrug*

This chapter is dedicated to LivvieLove, who recently came back from her own honeymoon! CONGRATULATIONS GIRL!!!!! Just for you, here’s a pic of your favorite badass dog:



(Or, you know. Badass glitch.)

Thank you all for reading!

-Mo ‚̧


2.9 Oh Right, This Is A Legacy Challenge

Last time, Catherine had a bizarre and disturbing dream conversation with a glowing horse about her green alien brother. Somehow she wasn’t high at the time. This time, run of the mill legacy nonsense.


Catherine isn’t sure what she did in a past life to deserve this family, but she’s sincerely sorry for whatever it was.

Catherine: You do all realize this is a vacation, right? As in, leave your work at home?

El: Buzz off little sis, my editor’s been riding my ass and I’m almost done with this chapter.

Bedivere, from the next room where he’s washing dishes: SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

The vacation that wasn’t wraps up, and everyone returns to the land of Mom and her wedding fever.


Brienne and El continue to not see eye to eye on… Well, on anything.

Brienne: You must wear something special for your wedding! If not a gown, then at least some other sort of formal attire! My love, tell her!

Jared: Hmm? Yes, whatever you say, dear.

El: Ohhhhh myyyyyyy goddddddddd.


Catherine: Who’s a good widdle horsie! Who’s mama’s widdle baby boy!

Danger: *sigh* I am. I am a good “widdle horsie.”


So badass! We’ve come so far!




As her horsewoman career progresses by inches, Catherine adjusts her casual outfits to fit her dedication. El applauds her for making the brave decision to switch to jodhpurs.


The morning of El’s wedding dawns with her penning the finishing words of her final novel, a soon to be best-seller. A hit. A truly genre-changing piece of literature. Her “pi√®ce de r√©sistance,” if you will.

It’s titled,¬†“Pharma Bro Pounded In The Butt By T-Rex Comedian Bill Murky And A Clan Of Triceratops Rappers Trying To Get Their Album Back.”


Out in the backyard, the two sisters bond, conveniently showing off the new scenery and wedding arch set up in the middle of Catherine’s race track. (I’m very proud of it.)

El compromised with Brienne on her wedding dress by wearing something that is technically formalwear, but is also technically the kind of thing you’d see in the club.


The entire extended family and friends shows up to clog up the front door in the dismal pouring rain. Also Morgana Wolff is there for some reason? You can see her mourning her dead husband in the hydrangeas.

Brienne recognizes her as one of the crazy women who crashed her adult birthday party way back when, but politely says nothing.


Leo: I am so blessed to be marrying this wonderful woman.

El: Ughh, can’t I just go paint or something?

This beautiful moment is brought to you by the terrible rainy-day lighting of Sims 3 Seasons.


From left to right: Bedivere, Brienne, Cheri(El’s friend from high-school and Deshaun’s wife), Catherine, Leo and El Gallant, Morgana the party-crasher, cousin Deshaun, uncle Connor, Ismael, and Jared. Connie was invited but never showed up ūüė¶

Not that the family seems to mind.


El: Oh hey, is that the plumber over there? Mad awkward, bro.


The happy couple waits only long enough to wave goodbye before they both sprint off towards the street.


Apparently, they had planned a quick getaway by cab. I – I didn’t realize that moving someone out during marriage meant that they immediately left their own wedding party.



Ismael: Quick, while they’re all distracted by the runaways, let’s make out!

Morgana: Don’t mind me. Just standing right next to you. Minding my own business. It’s like I’m not even here.



Things have been way too hectic recently – between El’s wedding, their careers, and whatever the hell is going on with Bedivere, Catherine and Ismael haven’t had much time to themselves. All the same, they’ve been planning on marriage since they graduated from high school, and Catherine decides that it’s high time she got a move on with this whole “family legacy” shtick.



Catherine: Sooo, whadya say we make this thing official?


Ismael: Heck yes, I am so ready to be a kept man!


What a couple of dorks.


Catherine + various priceless archeological artifacts looted from China. Because she’s classy like that.


Because of his job, Ismael gets to see a lot of the familial chaos that afflicts this town.


On this particular night, he’s called in to deal with a poltergeist problem at the Landgraab mansion. Except, it’s not called the Landgraab mansion anymore – that blond fellow behind him is Malcolm Mae, recent new husband to the incredibly elderly Zelda Mae. Ismael has the distinct impression that the spirits he’s exorcising might be the furious spirits of Malcolm’s deceased parents.


Later that night he gets called in to the household of Malcolm’s ex-wife, Iliana Langerak (now Iliana Landgraab), who’s currently living in a tiny one-bedroom house with their children. Those girls in the foreground are their teenage and toddler daughters.

Ismael: You know what, I just don’t want to know.

When El asked Brienne out for lunch at the Bistro, this was honestly the last thing she was expecting.


No pun intended?

Brienne: That was…much faster than I anticipated.

El: Eh. You know how it is. One minute, you’re getting that sweet, sweet nookie, and the next you’re hearing rock-a-bye baby and rolling wishes to read maternity books.


While his family experiences the drama of love and childbirth, Bedivere throws himself into the martial arts he learned in China. It’s very calming, even if there is a creepy laundry gnome in time-out in the corner.

If it seems like Bedivere is a little anti-social, it’s because he is. H ehasn’t made a single friend who he isn’t related to in some form or fashion.


At prom, not only is he the best dressed guy there, he’s also the only sim I’ve ever had who ended prom as single as they were when they went in. Not that he seems to care.


He just starts a family garden. With the same creepy gnome.



For those of you Tiff-lovers out there, fear not! The old girl is as spry and cranky as ever!


Even if she does let mailmen escape these days.

Alright, have a little break from the serious stuff. Here’s some of your regularly scheduled Gallant nonsense!

The Landgraab-Mae family might win the award for “Even Weirder Than The Local Legacy Family, Somehow,” which would be quite the accomplishment for townies! Rich people, man.

Letting El go was HEARTBREAKING, but she’s getting to be middle-aged and I want to leave her to the mercies of StoryProgression set her free before she gets any older. ūüė¶

By finishing that last book, she bumped her writing skill up to level 10, completing her LTW to be an Illustrious Author, which in turn bumped her LTH over 100k, which nets me 2 points in one go! Holla!

Oh, and disclaimer: All of El’s novels are named after the real-world works of Chuck Tingle. DO NOT look up his name if you’re at work/with your grandma/etc.

Thank you all for reading, following this blog, and commenting!

-Mo ‚̧

Total points: 12

2.8 Expository Slumber



Greetings Catherine, daughter of Brienne, of the house Gallant.


We need to talk.

“…I remember you. Why do I remember you?”

We met, once. It was some time ago, by your reckoning.

“The lake…I¬†thought that was a dream. It wasn’t real.

And why should it being a dream make it any less real? But I digress. I have important matters to discuss with you.

“Right. So ‘important’ that you needed to wait almost a decade to tell me about them.”

Do not jest, child.


Your brother is in grave danger.

“Bedivere? But what- Oh no. Oh, no no no no no, I have to go back. You have to take me back now, alright, Mom needs to hear about this, she can protect him-”

Calm yourself. He is in danger, but it is not eminent. For now, the curiosity of his creators outweighs their need to protect themselves.


“Protect themselves? From¬†Bedivere?! You’re kidding me, right?”

I will explain, in due time. First, observe our surroundings. Do you recognize this place?

“Um, yeah. It’s the circle of standing stones, right? It was¬†an old ritual site, centuries before SimNation was founded. People call it Sim Henge these days.”

‘Sim Henge.’ How quaint. Rituals were held here, yes-


-but they were for a very specific purpose, tied to the nature of the circle itself. There are countless similar circles, spread across existence. Each serves as a gateway…


…and if one has the right key,¬†they are capable of using that gateway, exiting through the other side at another such circle.



Precisely. Stay on my back, child. Only one of my kind can set foot here without cost.

“Where are we? I haven’t heard of a desert like this before.”


That is because we are not on your world. To be more accurate, we are not even in your reality.


This is the landscape of another dimension. Appreciate the view: you are the first of your kind to ever lay eyes on it.

“Okay. Note to self, freak out about that later. Right. So, is this where Bedivere’s…’people’ come from?”

In a way.

“…Do you have an answer that isn’t¬†irritatingly cryptic?”


“Fantastic. Could you at least tell me why you’re showing me this?”


Look at this world, child. What do you see?

“Sand. Weird, spiky rock formations, a few abandoned buildings. More sand.”

And what do you not see?


There is no life on this world. You can comb it from topsoil to core, observe every nook and cranny, and you will find no movement, no change, not a single living being. 

“That’s awful. Then, the aliens are running from whatever did this?”



Their biology is very different from what your science tells you is possible. The beings of this world are not, in fact, beings: rather, they are one being, one consciousness, split into hundreds of individual bodies. Each pair of hands acts independently, but the mind which governs them is singular. And that mind hungers constantly. 

“You’re telling me they ate everything on this planet?”

I am telling you that a being of psychic energy draws on living energy to feed itself. I am telling you that such a being would expand constantly, increasing its appetite as it does so. I am telling you that such a being, with no limits or restraints, would suck a world dry, and leave it a barren wasteland. And then it would sit there, in the empty desert of its own creation, and slowly starve. 

“And then what?”

Come. There is something else I need to show you.


“Oh. Another weird, gravity-defying alien planet. How wonderful.”

This is the first place the creatures existed, and the first to be drained by their presence.

“But, the desert-”

Was one of many to follow. They cannot access the gateways as I can, but they have technology which allows them to step between dimensions to reach new colonies. Like our world.

“You know, I still don’t know why you’re telling me this. Mom would at least have some way of contacting the government to stop them.”

Oh, child.


I have already ‘stopped’ them. My kind have enveloped the energy of the world in a magical bubble, one which even the creatures cannot break. I tell you this because you must know just what it is you are dealing with.¬†


Every world they visit, they first scout. Because all of their kind share awareness of what each other sees, the simplest method is to simply implant a fetus in a creature of that world. 


But, different worlds have different atmospheres, gravitation, food sources, and so on. In order to ensure that the child survives, they take a sample of the host DNA and adapt it to suit their needs. As an added bonus, the child is never fully one of their own, and so is incapable of accessing the psychic energy at the heart of the species. They can be observed, but pose no threat to the Greater Consciousness. 


I suppose they never took into account just how contrary humans can be.

“So my brother is one of these…scouts?”

I believe they are called drones, but yes.

“And because he’s based on human DNA, he can pull energy from the ‘Greater Consciousness.'”

And now you understand. They are quite terrified of him, I must say. Generations upon generations of the same methods, on world after world, and now things have begun to spiral outside their control.


“What are they going to do?”

I am not entirely sure, but I doubt that it will be pleasant. That is why I have approached you now – I can extend my protection to cover him, even if he is not entirely of this world, but I require a favor of you.

“Riiiight, because that’s not suspicious at all.”

Have your kind not always trusted unicorns as creatures of purity and goodwill?

“You mind-wiped me when I was ten, I think ‘purity’ is out the window at this point!”

I swear upon my name, human, I have no ill intent towards you or your family. I will protect your brother until the day he dies, if you protect something of mine until that same day.

“That sounds suspiciously simple. What would I be protecting?”

You will find out when the time comes. Do we have a deal?

“You do realize how uncomfortable it is to accept a deal that vaguely worded, right?”

What matters to you more, Catherine Gallant? Your comfort, or your brother’s life?



“…Alright. I accept your deal.”




I swear, I didn’t mean for that to be as much of an info dump as it was, but it all needed to be said. (It’s quite possible that I’m going to go back and edit the hell out of this, but I’ve been staring at it on my laptop screen for the past few hours, so I’m publishing it anyway.)

The worlds used in this chapter are Broken World by Nowa 2000 and Teta 5120 by Marie. All credit goes to them!

Again, let me know if I’m being confusing and I’ll be happy to go back and edit to be clearer. Thank you for reading!

-Mo ‚̧

2.7 I Got This Feeling Like, Somebody’s Watching Me~

Last time, there was a ton of fake science and discussions of matrimony. This time, Gen 2 goes to China, and there’s even more fake science.


Generally, I like my sims to be able to do whatever they want on vacation, but no sooner does Catherine arrive in China than her wish box starts filling up with adventure-related wishes.

You are not Indiana Jones!

Catherine: That’s what you think.


Catherine: Ohmygawdsecretstaircase

I see you’re as smooth as ever.

Catherine: Let me have this.


Catherine: Secret staircase, activate!


Catherine: Work, damn you!


Catherine: Ooh, this will look great in my photo album!

While the heiress goes through an adventuring emotional rollercoaster, her siblings set out to explore the foreign city.


Bedivere has been going through a huge amount of stress lately, and the zen meditations of martial arts seemed like a good way to unwind. Kicking the shit out of a wooden dummy works too, he guesses.

Bedivere: Stupid, *ugh* freak, *hurk* genetics!


El, meanwhile, beelines for the local market. She’s made¬†a hobby out of collecting random crap, and she’ll be damned if she misses out on a prime opportunity for some random knick-knacks.


Ismael has been using this vacation to read up on all the scientific articles he normally misses out on, but he spares some time to cook dinner for¬†his girlfriend’s family. This would be nicer if it wasn’t his first time cooking ever.

Catherine: Ismael, please tell me you at least have some idea what you’re doing.

Ismael: Not a clue!

Catherine: *sigh* Just, don’t put any weird chemicals in there, alright?

Ismael: Sure thing sweetheart!


Shang Simla is so beautiful: One of these days I need to get a computer with an actually decent graphics card so I can properly appreciate it. Until then, enjoy Bedivere’s postcard picture.


Happily, Shang Simla doesn’t have the same rigid curfew laws as SimNation, so Bedivere is free to pursue his fishing hobby at night. What with his lack of need to sleep, and the supply of dried food stashed in his pocket, he hardly ever needs to go back to the base camp.


El: Howdy, stranger. Get any good bites lately?

Bedivere: Mm, you could say that. Mostly koi and stuff though.


Bedivere: El, is that…brains?

El: Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to, little bro.



El: Hey, buzz off with that sappy shit! Some of us are being forced to work through this vacation!

(It’s true, I did chain her to her laptop the entire time they were there. She left China with a nearly maxed-out Writing skill though, so I can’t feel too bad about it.)


Before they left, I bought Catherine the Lifetime Reward that lets you stay longer on vacations, so she actually gets quite a few beginner¬†missions completed. Eventually, she gets contacted for the Dragon’s Cave questline.

Catherine: Just running up to an old, smoking cave in the middle of nowhere because some creepy mysterious guy asked me to explore it through a cryptic phonecall. No big deal.


Catherine: Hidden ancient palaces with somehow not-rotted wooden floors? Whatever.


Secret libraries behind hidden doors? I call that Tuesday.




Catherine: Alright, keep it together girl, just one more room.


Catherine: Guh.

Once she’s done looting the place bare(because after all, that’s what archaeologists DO, right?), she heads back to her employer.


Catherine: Ma’am, the next time you want to know what’s in a tomb, you can check out the bug-infested hellhole yourself.


The first chance the sisters gets to catch up, and a random fellow-tourist decides to awkwardly join them. Typical.

Creeper: Laaadies~!


Late one night, while everyone else is conked out from studying/writing/plundering tombs, Bedivere has another…episode. This one is much like the first, but he feels a bit more in control of himself.

Instead of laying pliantly back while a strange force pokes and prods at his mind, he reaches out, and, for lack of a better word, pokes back. Immediately, the force withdraws, leaving him with the unnerving feeling of having startled a large and dangerous creature.


The second Ismael is up, Bedivere goes to him for advice.

Bedivere: So, what do you think?

Ismael: Hmm. Well, the thought of a psychic link had occurred to me, but I want to test something first. You remember my stimulus response test?


Bedivere: You mean that thing where you throw something at me to see if I flinch? How could I ever forget.

Ismael: The sarcasm is unnecessary, Bedivere. Alright, 1, 2-


Ismael: 3!

Bedivere flinches back automatically, of course, but instead of the rubber duck smacking into his face, he’s surprised to see it hovering in the air between them.

Bedivere: What.

Ismael: Oh my. I didn’t really expect that to work, to be honest.


Ismael: It would appear that this force making contact with your mind is what powers your abilities, or at least that you are drawing power from it in some way. My working theory is that your genetic modifications were intended to allow it to oversee you, but judging by the reaction you described when you attempted to reciprocate, it was intended to be a one-way connection.

Bedivere: …Can you please, please simplify that.

Ismael: Ah, yes, my apologies.¬†I got a little carried away there. Think of it like…a webcam.

Bedivere:…A webcam. Really?

Ismael: Bear with me. You set up this webcam to watch over someone inside a room. You expect that only you will be able to see the other person, since after all the webcam is a one-way device. Then you look up and realize that somehow, they can see you through the webcam as well, and moreover they are hijacking your wifi connection to surf SimGoogle.

Bedivere: So you’re saying that I’m being watched on a psychic camera.

Ismael: Not constantly, no. Most likely whatever it is is simply keeping an eye on you for now, monitoring your vitals and general emotional state to make sure you’re in good health. But if you¬†are a –¬†a science experiment, of some sort, it would make sense that¬†whoever created you would want a way to observe their results. Of course, this is all just a theory.

Bedivere: Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let’s just, umm, assume that that theory is correct. Who would the “they” be? The government, or something?

Ismael: Bedivere, I am so sorry, but I honestly have no idea.

As they speak, Catherine’s body lies in her bed in Shang Simla, deep asleep. Her mind, however, is somewhere very, very different.


There is a crackling surge, like a static shock upped a few times, and in a flash of burning light Catherine finds herself astride the familiar form of a horse, breathing in the familiar sea-salt air of Sunset Valley.


Greetings Catherine, daughter of Brienne, of the house Gallant.


We need to talk.


Cliffhanger enough for you? I’m finally getting to the good stuff, good grief. I really hope I did a decent job explaining what’s going on with Bedivere, at least. *crosses fingers* And hey, Alia’s finally back!

Thank you for reading, leave a comment with what you think, if there’s anything that’s super-confusing to you, if you liked it, etc. This is my first time writing a plotline this involved and complicated, so¬†I’m kind of¬†expecting at least someone to be wondering “WTF is going on right now??”¬†I’m ready to go back and edit the hell out of this chapter if I¬†explained something poorly.

-Mo ‚̧